Non sono solo complimenti

Sono cresciuta in una città piccola, poi mi sono trasferita in un borgo ancora più piccolo, ho studiato a Roma, la capitale, e la cultura del fischio e degli apprezzamenti volgari l’ho trovata ovunque. Anche qui a Londra. Nelle scorse settimane si è parlato molto di catcalling, perché alcuni “influencer” hanno sollevato l’argomento, Aurora Ramazzotti ha parlato di un’esperienza vissuta in prima persona, attirando l’attenzione su questo tema, di cui se ne parla ancora troppo poco. Non sono mancate le risposte, infelici e fuori luogo, di chi ancora sminuisce una cosa così grave, facendoli passare per complimenti di cui dovremmo andare fiere. Ma il problema non sono i complimenti, è il modo in cui essi vengono fatti, è il superare un limite che da umano a umano non è accettabile. Non voglio scrivere tanto di mio, perché voglio far parlare tutte le esperienze delle ragazze che mi hanno scritto, e quelle della pagina Instagram @sonosolocomplimenti, che mi ha dato l’opportunità di pubblicare anche qui una piccola parte di tutte le storie che ricevono ogni giorno. Sono contenta nel mio piccolo, di poter dar voce a tutte queste donne che ogni giorno ricevono questo tipo di attenzioni non richieste, e spero che leggendole tutte insieme, l’impatto sia forte e incisivo, perché non è giustificabile il fatto che si continui a farlo, quando si può migliorare e stoppare questo fenomeno.

“Mi è capitato molto spesso, anche in piena pandemia mentre avevo la mascherina, giubbotto e tuta, perché magari ero uscita solo a fare la spesa. Il problema non è il fischio di per sé, ma le sue conseguenze. Ti senti a disagio, devo rispondere o è meglio lasciar stare? È un fischio e basta o adesso attraversa la strada e mi segue? E se mi comincia a dire qualcosa? Ma lo fa perché sono vestita così? Se già mi fischiano in tuta, cosa potrebbe accadere se per caso dovessi mettermi una gonna? Le persone che dicono ‘Eh ma è solo un fischio, eh ma é solo una battuta’, beh non c’è niente da ridere, basta sminuire tutto e iniziamo a dare il peso alle parole e ai gesti, perché non si può sapere cosa possono suscitare, abbiate più rispetto per le donne, tutte, perché potrebbero essere le vostre figlie, le vostre mogli o le vostre sorelle.”

“Avevo 10 anni o poco più quando mia sorella, 14enne, è stata pedinata per mesi sempre dalla stessa macchina con dentro lo stesso ragazzo, a volte appostato anche sotto casa nostra per ore. Penso di non avere mai vissuto senza la consapevolezza che in qualsiasi momento potevo essere in pericolo solo perché sono femmina. Ancora oggi, a distanza di 15 anni, ricordo a memoria la targa e in automatico, quando passa quel modello di auto la controllo, senza deciderlo. Avevo 10 anni e già sapevo che non potevo permettermi di essere una bambina.”

“Avevo 17 anni, dovevo tornare a casa dal centro città e dovevo prendere il bus da sola, era sera. Erano le 23:12 non lo dimenticherò mai. Mentre ero nel bus un signore sulla cinquantina incominciò a fissarmi, fin quando non scesi alla mia fermata e decise di seguirmi. Inizia a camminare a passo svelto, ma lui continuava a seguirmi. Fortunatamente trovai il cancello ed il portone del mio palazzo aperti una volta arrivata a casa. Inizia a correre salendo le scale, quando arrivai alla porta di casa mi accorsi che era entrato nel portone del mio palazzo. Ero terrorizzata, ma avevo avuto fortuna. Da quel momento ogni volta che torno a casa da sola chiamo mia mamma, ho 20 anni ed ho paura. Sempre.”

“Stavo camminando tranquillamente, una macchina si ferma e il guidatore mi chiede indicazioni per la stazione, solo dopo qualche minuto di conversazione ho notato che si stava masturbando, sono sconvolta.”

“Era il primo lockdown, ero al parco e stavo facendo attività fisica da sola. C’erano poche persone in giro ed io avevo le cuffie. Ad un certo punto vedo che dietro di me passa un ragazzo sulla ventina. Si siede su una panchina a qualche metro da me ed inizia a fissarmi. Io mi rendo conto di avere il suo sguardo addosso, ma non ricambio. Poco dopo scompare dalla panchina su cui era seduto, lo vedo esattamente a qualche metro da me dietro a un albero che si stava masturbando guardandomi. Inizio a camminare velocemente per tornare a casa mentre chiamo una mia amica e le spiego la situazione, mi volto e lui era dietro di me, mi stava seguendo. Imbocco la via di casa mia e iniziò a correre, per fortuna lui era lontano e non aveva ancora svoltato l’angolo quando io ho varcato la porta. Non ho lividi, non ho segni sul corpo ma non l’ho mai raccontato, me ne vergognavo.”

“Avevo circa 17 anni e stavo aspettando l’autobus alla fermata, con tuta da ginnastica e zaino. Mi si accosta un uomo sulla 60ina con un macchinone, ben vestito, chiedendomi ‘quanto prendessi’. Altre volte sono stata fischiata, mi sono stati urlati commenti volgari dalla strada, qualche volta sono stata seguita. E’ successo in diversi momenti della giornata, sia di mattina che di sera, che io fossi da sola (soprattutto) ma anche con delle mie amiche e da uomini di qualsiasi età. Tutto questo é orrendo e fa vivere me (come altre ragazze) nella paura, ti toglie la libertà, ti fa stare sempre con il cuore in gola quando cammini per una strada da sola. Perciò, per chi difende chi fa catcalling, dovreste provarlo sulla vostra pelle.”

“Avevo 20 anni, ero in pieno centro della mia città e stavo andando a lavoro a piedi. Ero vicino ad un semaforo, mi si accosta una macchina, era un uomo sulla 60ina, mi fischia e mi dice quanto io sia bella, mi chiede di salire. Mi sale il cuore in gola, non sapevo che fare, ho camminato più veloce, lui ha iniziato a seguirmi con la macchina. Fortunatamente capisce e mi lascia stare. Sono stata solo fortunata.”

“Prendevo il treno per andare a studiare a Roma. Un giorno un signore sulla 50ina che stava per scendere alla mia stessa stazione, mi chiede l’ora, io rispondo e da lì mi inizia a fare mille domande. Mi sono sentita in imbarazzo, e allo stesso tempo maleducata se non rispondevo, ma quella faccia da pervertito non me la tolgo dalla testa. Ho passati mesi con la paura che mi potesse seguire fino alla mia macchina, perché scendevamo sempre alla stessa stazione, allo stesso orario. Per la paura controllavo sempre se lo vedevo nei vagoni prima di salire, e se lo vedevo andavo 3/4 vagoni più avanti, per stare più lontana possibile. Avevo paura che potesse molestarmi, ho dovuto farmi tanta forza ma alla fine sono andata avanti.”

Avrei potuto continuare a scrivere storie così all’infinito, perché ognuna di noi ne ha almeno una da raccontare. Vi invito solo a riflettere e a finire questa storia.

Vi aspetto al prossimo articolo lettori di The jungle of Alis📄

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